Dancing With The Flow

  • Clearing


    I have been working with a business coach for three weeks as I want to build my business and generate an income from my work. 

    Last year I started my first shop on Etsy and was able to sell several pieces of jewelry mainly to friends but did not get anyone to purchase any of my Reiki or color therapy sessions.  The Reiki is my passion and since I did not have the client base, I started making jewelry as a creative outlet.  The jewlery making also helped to keep my mind centered when I was part of a government shutdown a few years ago.

    People have favorited my Reiki sessions but no one has bought them.  It is a little frustrating as I have offered all kinds of discounts yet no one is interested.  Etsy does allow people who generate very high sales to be a part of their site which is frustrating to those of us trying to build our business and I guess like everything it is about the money that the high sellers contribute to the site in the forms of marketing etc. 

    Marketing is all about learning for me and channeling my energy into where and how I need to market has been keeping me up.  I am not a master in it and need help so I reached out to a coach.  Hopefully she can help me and if not then I will have to find someone else or dig on my own as that is a method that does not require money.        

  • Overcoming Obstacles

    Overcoming Obstacles

    I have spent the last couple of days feeling like I was not in the flow that had been so amazing a few days prior.  Everyone was talking about the horrors of the Mercury Retrograde and for me that period in May until June eleventh of this year was amazing.  I connected with a friend that I had not heard from in fifteen years, I danced in front of seventeen strangers and my creative energy was through the roof.  I also started working with a business coach.  Then right after the Mercury Retrograde it felt like the flow was slowing down and I was crawling back into my shell.

    I lacked inspiration and did not want to pursue projects that I had started and was ready to stop moving forward.  I had reached out to several people as part of my homework that my business coach gave me.  In the process of gathering information, I made a new Facebook and Linked In connection and was able to connect with an amazing light worker and then today with a person who has been doing workshops for thrirty three years.  I had been so nervous to call him after he gave me his number when I sent him an email.  I pushed through the nervousness and called him and left a voice mail.  He called back today and left me a voicemail so I was back in the spot of calling him again and this time he answered.

    I had told myself before calling him that I could do this and that I would be able to stay focused and centered on what I wanted to know and to flow with the conversation as I had been advised to do by my coach.  He opened up and I flowed along with the conversation and was able to get answers by flowing and not forcing anything.

    I started to think of Lord Ganesh, the Overcomer of Obstacles and knew that it was time to start working with again as I feel blocks that were not there and I need to work through them.  One surfaced during my conversation this morning when I revealed that I tried to avoid conflict and the person that I was talking to told me that I would need to work through this.  It was interesting how it worked its way into our conversation about his work and then I was on the hot seat so to speak.  I let the thought rise and then fall and now it is here for me to work through.     



  • Nature


    I found a cute picture on line of a little baby who got sunburned to represent how I am looking this morning after spending a little too much time out in the sun working on my property.  It is amazing how we can get possessed with something like I did with the weeds.  I had only intended to work on the yard for about an hour and it turned into over three and the result was a doozy of a sunburn on my face, part of neck, calves but at least my ears, hands and arms were protected so they did not get cooked :-).

    Even though it was a lot of work, I got to spend time outside and see about seven horned lizards: who by the way are one of my favorite things on my property.  I have a lot of them living there and they create a special type of magic and it always brings a smile to my face when I see them.  They are a beautiful blessing of nature and something that I treasure.  I have one that lives by my front gate so I get to see it when I come home in the afternoons.  It is my personal greeter which is cool.

    I have not spending enough time in nature and yesterday was a reminder of why it is important, minus the sunburn, that is.


  • Gratitude


    I will be featured in Jamie Dawn's newsletter this month.  It is an exciting opportunity and a blessing that I am happy that came my way.  I had to submit a short bio and a picture and finding the right combination was a little daunting as I have self taken pictures and nothing professional yet. 

    I am taking baby steps with the business and even jumped into Cyber Monday with a 40% off coupon on my shop but there were no takers so that was a little bit of a let down as I was so excited when I posted it and told myself that it would generate sales.  I am learning every day and learning how to work with rejection and what could be perceived as failure.  It is a bitter pill to swallow sometimes as the expectation of being positive is that good things will happen and a lot of times they don't.  I believe that it is a lesson and something that I have to learn from.  The gratitude comes from the fact that I was able to start the business in the first place as I overcame a lot of fear when I jumped into it.     

  • Moving past illusion

    Moving past illusion

    I have been working through a lot of emotions and feelings and other things but now it has come to the point where I am starting to question everything.  Questioning everything is something that the Buddha taught so I guess I am in that flow.  It is not a comfortable space especially if you feel that you have finally found the road but now it appears as if that road has disappeared.

    Did the road disappear or have I decided to stop blindly believing and have reached the point where I am not going to settle and I am going to confront those things that have been lurking in the shadows that I have tried to push back over and over?

    As we approach the end of 2014 there is a part of me that feels that it is another year without accomplishing anything that I set out to do.  I did start 2 shops on Etsy and showcased my jewelry and even tried the marketing thing but when you heart is not driven by competition, it is hard.  Does the lack of that drive mean that you can never have success?  Does is keep you from trying to stand out? 

    It is hard to wrestle with the concept of competition. As I have been wrestling for so long.  I never liked being the last one selected for the team or being looked past for not being pretty enough, for being too tall, being too skinny and now being too big. 

    Moving into a more spiritual life was a way that I thought would help me cope but it raised more thoughts and frustration.  I tried the "be positive" thing and created a flow that I hoped would return to me but it has been a one way flow for the most part with the exception of creating a few relationships.  There have been promises that were broken and the sense of being used which was the result of having an open heart.

    Yet over and over the practices that I have worked with tell you to open your heart more.  There has to be a point where that is what breaks you as if you give your heart to everyone where does your nourishment come from?  There are a lot of opinions on the subject and a lot of them just do not ring true for me right now as I can't blindly follow and accept that someone is better than me because they have been studying for a longer period of time, are famous or claim to be enlightened.  If there is a spiritual equality then why is there so much separation and a block in the flow of energy, love, compassion and trust? 

    I have heard that my vibration, despite loads of energy work, assistance, etc., is not high enough to communicate with angels.  On the flip side that angels love me and want to help me.  Angels are frustrated with me as I am not following their guidance which comes through when I sleep and I am plagued by weird dreams.  That angels show you symbols and you should pick up on them and if you don't that you are somehow defective even though they won't use that word but let's clear out the hiding behind words and you are left with something that leaves you feeling like you are less than and that there must be something wrong with you since there are so many people who have conversations with angels.                           

  • Vision


    Daily reminder to keep me on track when I feel frustrated.  I love creativity and seeing how people put together textures and colors to create a sacred space. 

    I have been playing with loads of colors this past week and it has been a fun experience.  The passion and vibration that is emitted from certain colors is amazing.  I am in the brown flow which is great as it is grounding and there are so many shades of it and it compliments a variety of other colors. 

    Mixing, matching and feeling what belongs where have been engaging and have left me feeling more alive.   

  • Transformation

    I took a week off of work like I have been doing for several years and this year I did something special.  No, I did not go anywhere, but I stayed at home and bonded with my home and property.  I mowed the several acres, cleaned up a large rose and bush bed and built a burn pit with cinder blocks.  I did all of this before I had a consultation with an Interior Alignment practitioner name LuAnn Cibik (http://inner-harmony.org/ ).

    I had heard about Interior Alignment (a type of intuitive feng shui that was created by Denise Linn) and listened to quite a few shows on BlogTalkRadio.  I decided to contact LuAnn after I had received an MP3 from her last year. 

    LuAnn and I talked on the phone to figure out what it was that I wanted to accomplish with the project and I decided that career  ( creating a successful business and also transitioning into a job that would help support me) and love were important.

    I sent LuAnn a floor plan of my house and answered her questionaire and then we spent over and hour and a half talking about things that I could do to change up the energy of the space.   She recommended painting and doing a variety of things to change up the house.  I was excited after talking to her and jumped into painting my bright white bedroom.  I was able to get 2 walls done on that day and tried to air out the space but was not successful and paid for it that night when I felt like I was choking :-(.  Then I started working on the other proects like making table covers and finding things to create the environment that I wanted.

    The following day I built my business altar and scrubbed the entry way and found the blue rug and console table and painted the exterior alcove red along with the risers.  It was a busy few days until LuAnn did the space clearing.

    On Sunday LuAnn did the space clearing and sent me what she did and what messages she heard from the spirit of the house and what the energies felt like.  She told me that I had a lot of nature spirits and fairies that were protecting the house.  I have seen them many times and could feel them around me.  She cleared the spaces and said that the spirit of my house resembled a sheep with brown eyes.  Prior to finding out that information, I had ordered a brown paint color called Brown Eyes so that was a pretty cool thing as the spirit spoke through me prior to me finding out about her. 

    The experience has been exciting and has kept me very busy.  I still have a few walls to paint and am looking forward to the headboard that I have coming as I have never had one and have wanted one for a very long time.  I can feel a sense of accomplishment and a feeling of release.  I also can also sense that the house is happy that I am working on her and clearing out what no longer serves us.            LuAnn Cibik

  • Embrace the Fear

    Embrace the Fear

    Loving the color orange and its energy.  Orange is the color of the sacral chakra which houses our creativity and sexuality amongst other things.  When I look at the color I feel alive and like I need to start embracing the creative flow and never let go :-).

    Yesterday I was chatting with a person who has helped me with my personal Spiritual journey and she said that I should celebrate my accomplishments and I told her that I was afraid to do that as it might be taken away from me.  When I wrote that, it brought tears to my eyes as I opened a portal into my soul that I was not expecting to open at that time. 

    I tried to process this feeling of being afraid to have things taken away and then remembered the scene in Rocky 3 (yes I love all of the Rocky movies :-) ) where Adrian was having a conversation with Rocky when he looked as if he had given up.  She asked him what was wrong and finally he said that he was afraid.  She told him that everyone is afraid and asked him what he was a afraid of and he said he was afraid to lose what he had gotten.  In that breakdown the light came on and he was able to move forward and continue his training and get back in the ring.

    Thinking about that showed me that I should not fear that things will be taken away from me, but rather be thankful for the experiences and what I was learning along the way.  It is amazing when we engage with other people and how something that they say can spark and help to clear a blockage.    

  • Happy Fall

    It is hard to believe that we are almost in October but I am so happy that we have started Fall officially.

    The last several days have been crazy as we have received record amounts of rain which has brought large amounts of devastation.  The rain has stopped for a little bit and the sun is out drying the ground and helping the river waters to recede.

    This morning I was awoken by a dream that made me cry.  I tried to hold the tears back but the harder I tried, the more they flowed.  Finally I told myself to let go of the emotions and I was able to release and feel better and eventually drift back off to sleep.   

    Embracing the colors and energy of the Fall season and counting the blessings that have entered into my life.

    Love and light!

  • Follow the dream.

    Follow the dream.

    After a hot summer in the desert, I am looking forward to the fall.  While we do not get the gorgeous colors that other areas do, nature begins to slow down and prepare for the upcoming Winter season.  I enjoy channeling the fall colors in my meditations and the sense of calm that they infuse into my body when I look at the pictures and feel the vibrations that are emitted from the colors.

    Starting my own business was a dream.  It was something that started last year when I was experiencing a break in work as I was working for a contractor who was tied in with the federal government and the facility where I worked was shut down as there was no money to fund the budget.  I coud have panicked, but Spirit stepped in and said that I needed to keep my vibration high.  I had always loved to create with color and make jewelry so I started to design and make piece after piece.  It helped the time go by and gave me a sense of accomplishment which helped my self-esteem and kept me from feeling overwhelmed and depressed.  A little over a week later, we were called back.  I put the jewelry away until a few months ago.

    The desire to create and feel connected to something came back in a strong way so I started to make more jewelry and seek answers in the form of a personal mission statement.  I did a session with a job coach and came up with the following statement: "I invest in myself through my engagement with passion, color, and flow.  I am balanced, light and proud when I demonstrate my commitment to myself and my personal alignment".  This statement helped me to gather the momentum and to make the decision to finally follow through with the dream to own my own business.